I had no idea it would work for others like it works for me. I had no idea anyone else would be “stupid” enough to even TRY my “hair-brained” scheme. I had no idea anyone else would be remotely interested in applying one of my “made-up” philosophies – I’m talking about the one that that brings with it self-induced aggravation and sometimes makes me stew with irritation; but always “in the end” results in making me feel like I’m doing the very best I can – even BETTER than I THINK I can – and always leaves me feeling good about myself and my efforts.
But someone else not only tried it – but after only a week BRAGGED to me about THEIR results. I’m still a bit shocked.
What is it I’m talking about here? It’s a personal philosophy I’ve termed “Hop Up” and “HUSTLE.” Let me explain:
When I was a new father I was a big fan of watching sports on T.V. And it ALWAYS seemed like when I sat down to watch a bit of sports – one of the only times I wanted a bit of “ME” time – my boys would start to fight or get loud or somehow start to distract me to a point where I’d eventually blurt out, “C’mon, can I NEVER get a moment to myself to simply watch a game – leave me alone for awhile, would ya?”
I know, I know. NOT really an appropriate response to boys who WANTED their Dad’s attention, huh? When I finally realized how that sounded to the kids and that I may have just been being a bit selfish, I made a commitment right then and there to NEVER allow anything; not sports; not my favorite T.V. show; not me being tired; NOTHING should ever keep me from “Hopping Up” to play, or help out, or work, or whatever needed to be done.
It worked so well, I started to do it with my wife too.
Let me give you an example: I’m watching the NBA Playoffs – all snuggled in to my favorite recliner (kinda dozing – to be honest about it) and my wife says in her beautiful Southern accent, “Hey Kyyyyle, could you load the dishwasher before I leave so that when I get back the dishes will be clean for tomorrow?”
FYI: This is where the self-induced aggravation and stewing with irritation can happen. BUT instead of any of THAT, I “Hop Up” out of my chair, rub my eyes, shake my head to get the cobwebs out, and head to the kitchen to get started. “HUSTLE.”
Here’s another example: I just get home from work, I’m really tired and I plop down onto the couch to take a breather for a second. My wife says, “Wow, you look tired. Take a minute to rest.” Seriously, I’ve been given permission to relax for a moment by the boss. Almost immediately, my son Zak (my #2 son) yells from his room, “Dad, could you help me find my shoe?”
FYI AGAIN – this time written with even MORE emphasis: THIS is REALLY where the self-induced aggravation and stewing with irritation can happen. BUT instead of any of THAT, I “Hop Up” off the couch, and head back to his room to start helping – even as my wife says, “Whoa, give your Dad a minute.” Too late, I’m up and on my way. “HUSTLE.”
Now, if both of these examples seem a bit extreme, it’s because that’s the way I viewed my new “Hop Up” and “HUSTLE” philosophy. There was nothing too extreme. It didn’t matter how tired I was; or how lazy it seemed others were – and they sure seemed that way some times; or even if people started to take advantage of my willingness to “Hop Up” immediately – and I seemed to sense plenty of those feelings too. I didn’t care. I was ALWAYS going to do it no matter what.
Here’s what I became. I became (at least in my own mind) the father and husband that was NEVER too busy; or too lazy, or too tired, to make my wife and kids my FIRST priority. I became (at least in my own mind) relentless when it came to making the most important things to me… The Most Important Things to Me. I became (at least in my own mind) TIRELESS. I even started to internally brag to myself, “Yep, that’s right, no one can outlast me. Yeah!”
What I… Me… Kyle got (and you know it’s always about what I get, right?) was a great feeling of pride.
Sounds silly, I know. But I’m serious. I’m a happier, more fulfilled man because I “Hop Up” and “HUSTLE.”
If THAT whole philosophy doesn’t strike you as hair-brained and kinda nuts, keep in mind, I never told ANYBODY what I was doing until a few weeks ago – you see, I really didn’t want to come off, as a LOON. But as a good friend and I were talking one day, I’m not sure how, but he got me to discuss the “Hop Up” and HUSTLE” philosophy with him. I guess he was safe as he isn’t too critical of some of my weirder ideas.
Mush to my surprise, a week later, he not only bragged to me about his results (I was shocked he even TRIED it) but he also suggested I share this with others – even if it does make me seem a bit OFF – so there you have it. The “Hop Up” and “HUSTLE” philosophy.
Now, ladies, if you’re reading this, let me warn you. If you’re thinking about ASKING or TELLING your husband to start “Hopping Up” and “HUSTLE”, you’re barking up the wrong tree. You CAN’T ask for this – or TELL them to do this. He has to decide for himself. What you CAN do is start doing it yourself and HOPE he finds this information – or HOPE he does what my wife did (after watching the “Hop Up” and HUSTLE” philosophy for years and years) and start silently competing with me to see who can “Hop Up” first.
By the way, if you EVER ask my wife if she knows what I’m doing, she’ll SAY no. Even though she knows exactly what I‘m doing. She won’t know it’s CALLED the “Hop Up” and “HUSTLE” but she knows I hop up and hustle even though she’ll probably never admit it. Why? I think it’s because she knows that if she ever “admits” to knowing I do it, she will no longer be able to take advantage of me when she’s tired, or lazy, or just wants ME to “Hop Up” and “HUSTLE” and I’m OK with that.
I’m OK with it because I’m going to do it anyway.