As If People in Wal-Mart Aren’t Awkward Enough Already

A trip to Wal-Mart can present a few different – sometimes awkward – results for our family. Especially when Erik and Ricky come along – and when they are, let’s just say, A BIT HYPER.

That’s what happened recently, when I mistakenly mentioned to Shelly (my beautiful wife) that we needed some bread and milk for tomorrow – IN FRONT of the DYNAMIC DUO. The begging began immediately: Can we go, can we go, can we go, can we go, can we go, can we go, can we go, can we go, can we go, can we go, can we go, can we go, can we go?

O.K., O.K, Holy Crap – you can go!

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Shelly questioned. Turns out – Shelly’s question should have tipped me off to the ZANINESS that was forthcoming.

Seconds after we entered the front door, Ricky spotted a rather large man leaving the store in a “way too tight” yellow tee-shirt and greeted him with, “Hey, big banana!” I rushed them in to the store – to basically, GET AWAY, and told Ricky, “Let’s not call strangers names, O.K.?” To which he replied, “I know him, he’s the big banana, Dad.”

Later, as we entered the back of the store where the milk is, we came upon the Halloween decorations. There were fake spider-webs strewn all over the place barely above our heads that Erik and Ricky were able to keep their hands off. “Maybe we can get out of here unscathed” I thought.

Then Erik and Ricky stopped cold, started to stare and I knew I had better snap to it to see what was up. TOO LATE – Ricky spotted a man dressed like the Hulkster, Hulk Hogan (you know, the wrestler) complete with the tank-top, go-tee mustache, and bandana wrapped tight on his scalp – and blurted out loudly, “COOL COSTUME DUDE – WHO ARE YOU POSED TA BE?”

Can you say… A – W – K – W – A – R – D!!!

Here’s a PIC of them leaving unscathed – Not me… I’m scarred for life.

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