I know you love your child to the moon and back. But here’s the real question… What’s it worth?

I hear parents all the time proclaim, “I’d do anything for my child on the spectrum.”

Heck, we say it too. And we all do, right?

We spend hours, days, weeks, months, YEARS, supporting… advocating… caring for… loving… sometimes even tussling – like when our kids DO NOT want to go to therapies… or brush their teeth… or, well… SO MANY other things….

Sometimes it can feel like every minute of every day (and deep in to the night and early morning) we’re on “constant call” just in case something goes awry.

So yeah, we WOULD do anything for our kids on the spectrum… and our typical kids… and our families. We ALREADY do.

But what do we do when we’re asked to invest what we don’t have? Like what happened to us a few years back. Continue reading

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This is NOT what I signed up for…

There I was, standing next to my car, with my keys in my front pocket, ready to leave my family and NEVER come back.

I was angry, I was frustrated, I was hurt. “This isn’t what I signed up for” I screamed internally.

There was nothing I could do. My family was failing, nothing I had tried was working.

I had no choice.

IF…

I was to have ANY chance at happiness, it would not be here, it would not be with this incredibly dysfunctional “slaves to autism” family. It didn’t seem possible under these circumstances. Continue reading

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Entitlement Generation?

They’re bigger and faster and more athletic. I can’t even get a shot off!

My Dad patiently listened as my 9-year-old self, complained about my basketball conundrum.

Then he said something that changed my life forever. Continue reading

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A Friend?? Remembers Me Way Back When

When They’re At Their Worst, You Have To Be At Your Best

If you would have known Kyle back in high school, like I did, you would barely recognize him today.

I mean, he still looks basically the same. Same size, same hair, same energy. He even has the same thick Texas accent.

But I’m telling you, he’s a whole different guy now.  To read the rest CLICK HERE

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Seriously. It’s Not Your Fault

Here’s the deal.

The world KNOWS that the number of kids diagnosed on the autism spectrum is rising and along with that has come a slew of… I hate to say it… but… PREDATORS. Continue reading

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WAY TOO MANY Difficuties

WAY TOO MANY families with kids on the Autism Spectrum are having WAY TOO MANY difficulties. Please share this link with EVERY Autism family that you care about:

https://thriveinchaos.net/mini-workshop-welcome/

It’s a Mini-Workshop that shares what other families are doing to “THRIVE IN CHAOS.” Together, let’s make the Autism world a less stressed, happier place.

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Kyle’s Autism Story… OR… How I Got REAL Happy.

I’ll admit it. I am a flawed human being. But I’m trying my best. It feels like I always have. Of course, I’m guessing most people would SAY that. But until I had two sons that were diagnosed with autism, and I knew they really needed the “best” me I could be, I didn’t truly understand the effort I was capable of and to what depths I was willing to go, to give them what they deserved. And I could have never imagined that in doing so, I would find so much joy and growth (and a deeper kind of happiness) in this world. Let me explain: Continue reading

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All in the Family

We don’t get to travel very often because… well… there’s the cost (and we don’t have a lot of discretionary money – for obvious reasons – we have two (2) affected by autism) among our 6 kids and then there’s the even harder issue of… with whom do we leave our kids when we go anywhere? The truth is… trust comes hard with our circumstances.

You know what I’m talking about, right? Continue reading

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TRIGGERS: The REAL Answer to, “HOW Do You Actually Do It?”

I meet people all the time that like to TALK the TALK. But rarely do I meet those that WALK the WALK. That’s right, I said it. And it happened again just recently as I met with a group of Dad’s that all had the answers to why “each of the OTHER Dad’s” were struggling even as THEY WEREN’T able to apply the information they know for themselves… and subsequently were unable to find the joy and happiness in their OWN lives and THRIVE as they served.

Yep, they all KNEW they should manage themselves in a way that allowed them to serve their kids best – they knew WHAT to do, but when things got tough, or they got tired, or the “right” buttons were pushed, almost none of them could admit they DID what was best. They almost all admitted they failed to “manage themselves” optimally – even though they knew what they SHOULD have done.

And THAT’S why they were missing out on joy and happiness that was there for the taking; THAT’S why they weren’t THRIVING as they served; and THAT’S why they were meeting with me. They didn’t need to know WHAT to do, they needed to know HOW. Continue reading

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Pain… the FUEL of Rewards

When we experience what may seem to be never-ending difficulty, the emotions we experience – like sorrow, heartache and anguish – can be a natural consequence. It’s natural for those emotions to happen. The purpose of sorrow, heartache, anguish, suffering – or whatever you want to call it – is NOT to make you feel worse – OR to help you feel better. These are just emotions. That’s the way it is.

But in my humble opinion… sometimes people allow these emotions to cause more damage than necessary. Continue reading

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I Am Who I Am. Or AM I?

A few weeks back I had a phone conversation with a friend who expressed to me that he was a bit frustrated because his wife was having an extended “tough time.” When I asked for more detail he went on to tell me that recently he had expressed to her (in the most loving way he could – he assured me) that all her screaming and yelling and crying and complaining was over the top and unhelpful and that she may need to think about… somehow… toning it down a bit.

When I asked him how THAT went for him… he said, that SHE said, “I shouldn’t have to watch what I say or do around you. I should be safe to be ‘MYSELF’ and not be judged by you.” Continue reading

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