Entitlement Generation?

They’re bigger and faster and more athletic. I can’t even get a shot off!

My Dad patiently listened as my 9-year-old self, complained about my basketball conundrum.

Then he said something that changed my life forever.

You need to understand, it was the late 1970’s, there was a lot of racial tension in my neighborhood (or, what most people called, THE HOOD) and I was the only white kid who’d even DARE to force myself in to a game of hoops. I was determined I was going to be a star.

Who cares if I was white, couldn’t jump, wasn’t only slightly athletic, and was… well, – a STICK FIGURE – at best. C’mon, just look at the picture.


Well, THEY cared. There was NO WAY anyone was going to pick me on their team and if I DID get in a game they were going to make me PAY dearly… PHYSICALLY… and MENTALLY.

I was NOT “one of the gifted” on the playground courts of inner-city Dallas.

So, you can see why I was complaining.

Dad would have none of it.

When I finished my fuss-fest (that’s what he later called it) he hugged me… told me he loved me… wiped away my tears and then, albeit in a kind and loving way, HE SAID IT!


I didn’t want to hear it then… but it BORED a hole in to my soul.

So, I went out and worked like a maniac. I mean, as much as a little, white, manic could.

It wasn’t the LAST time I heard it… DON’T WISH IT WERE EASIER… WISH YOU WERE BETTER. But it WAS the last time I heard it from him.

I heard it again and again – in my head – as I grew up and had difficulties arise in my life.


When life seemed too hard to handle… DON’T WISH IT WERE EASIER… WISH YOU WERE BETTER.

When I considered walking out on my family because of the autism stress and tension… DON’T WISH IT WERE EASIER… WISH YOU WERE BETTER.

Can you imagine?

Who says that to a 9-years-old?

I’ll tell you who. My Dad. The wisest, most loving man I ever met.

My Dad has now passed. I miss him more than you can imagine.

But he’s there with me every time I need him, whispering in my head… DON’T WISH IT WERE EASIER… WISH YOU WERE BETTER.

Let me now… whisper in your ear. The same way he did for me. In a loving, kind, helpful way.

Shhhhh… Listen closely (I’m whispering.) “Don’t wish it were easier… wish you were better.”

I hope it helps you as much as it helped that skinny, scrawny, unconfident, lost little 9-year-old stick figure named, “Kyle.”

By the way, up until I quit playing basketball – in my late 40’s – there was STILL noone that could guard me.

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A Friend?? Remembers Me Way Back When

When They’re At Their Worst, You Have To Be At Your Best

If you would have known Kyle back in high school, like I did, you would barely recognize him today.

I mean, he still looks basically the same. Same size, same hair, same energy. He even has the same thick Texas accent.

But I’m telling you, he’s a whole different guy now.  To read the rest CLICK HERE

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Seriously. It’s Not Your Fault

Here’s the deal.

The world KNOWS that the number of kids diagnosed on the autism spectrum is rising and along with that has come a slew of… I hate to say it… but… PREDATORS. Continue reading

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WAY TOO MANY Difficuties

WAY TOO MANY families with kids on the Autism Spectrum are having WAY TOO MANY difficulties. Please share this link with EVERY Autism family that you care about:


It’s a Mini-Workshop that shares what other families are doing to “THRIVE IN CHAOS.” Together, let’s make the Autism world a less stressed, happier place.

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Kyle’s Autism Story… OR… How I Got REAL Happy.

I’ll admit it. I am a flawed human being. But I’m trying my best. It feels like I always have. Of course, I’m guessing most people would SAY that. But until I had two sons that were diagnosed with autism, and I knew they really needed the “best” me I could be, I didn’t truly understand the effort I was capable of and to what depths I was willing to go, to give them what they deserved. And I could have never imagined that in doing so, I would find so much joy and growth (and a deeper kind of happiness) in this world. Let me explain: Continue reading

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All in the Family

We don’t get to travel very often because… well… there’s the cost (and we don’t have a lot of discretionary money – for obvious reasons – we have two (2) affected by autism) among our 6 kids and then there’s the even harder issue of… with whom do we leave our kids when we go anywhere? The truth is… trust comes hard with our circumstances.

You know what I’m talking about, right? Continue reading

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TRIGGERS: The REAL Answer to, “HOW Do You Actually Do It?”

I meet people all the time that like to TALK the TALK. But rarely do I meet those that WALK the WALK. That’s right, I said it. And it happened again just recently as I met with a group of Dad’s that all had the answers to why “each of the OTHER Dad’s” were struggling even as THEY WEREN’T able to apply the information they know for themselves… and subsequently were unable to find the joy and happiness in their OWN lives and THRIVE as they served.

Yep, they all KNEW they should manage themselves in a way that allowed them to serve their kids best – they knew WHAT to do, but when things got tough, or they got tired, or the “right” buttons were pushed, almost none of them could admit they DID what was best. They almost all admitted they failed to “manage themselves” optimally – even though they knew what they SHOULD have done.

And THAT’S why they were missing out on joy and happiness that was there for the taking; THAT’S why they weren’t THRIVING as they served; and THAT’S why they were meeting with me. They didn’t need to know WHAT to do, they needed to know HOW. Continue reading

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Pain… the FUEL of Rewards

When we experience what may seem to be never-ending difficulty, the emotions we experience – like sorrow, heartache and anguish – can be a natural consequence. It’s natural for those emotions to happen. The purpose of sorrow, heartache, anguish, suffering – or whatever you want to call it – is NOT to make you feel worse – OR to help you feel better. These are just emotions. That’s the way it is.

But in my humble opinion… sometimes people allow these emotions to cause more damage than necessary. Continue reading

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I Am Who I Am. Or AM I?

A few weeks back I had a phone conversation with a friend who expressed to me that he was a bit frustrated because his wife was having an extended “tough time.” When I asked for more detail he went on to tell me that recently he had expressed to her (in the most loving way he could – he assured me) that all her screaming and yelling and crying and complaining was over the top and unhelpful and that she may need to think about… somehow… toning it down a bit.

When I asked him how THAT went for him… he said, that SHE said, “I shouldn’t have to watch what I say or do around you. I should be safe to be ‘MYSELF’ and not be judged by you.” Continue reading

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The Fire… Um… FUN Never Ends

Just when you think you start to get it under control. There’s a FIRE… literally. Yep, that’s right, Saturday morning while I was at the “Run for Autism” my wife (Shelly) called me with a bit of bad news. Continue reading

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I Have A Problem.

My son is now 15 and commonly SEEMS to be very unhappy. I say SEEMS because I have a real difficult time knowing.

Typically, I can tell by the way my kids act, or talk or their body language, how they are feeling. But with my sons affected by autism, I know they possibly have different indicators.

Here’s the question. As he is not very verbal, he has difficulty expressing to me how he is feeling, or if he’s happy or mad. And, as hard as I try, sometimes I have difficulty understanding – again, even though I patiently try VERY hard.

So, is body language a reasonably accurate indicator of how a person affected by autism is feeling, or may I simply be misinterpreting the clues he’s expressing or maybe he has alternate clues than we typically see? Continue reading

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